You’re Not Broken - You’re Coming Home to You: A New Perspective on Personal Change

Why We Feel “Broken” (and why that’s not true) 

Most of us aren’t born thinking we’re broken. But somewhere along the way – through childhood, family life, society, relationships – we absorbed beliefs and coping habits designed to keep us “safe” or accepted. Over time, these beliefs and habits become automatic – even after the situation that created them has long past

And when those old patterns stop serving you - the discomfort starts. It’s common to feel anxious, exhausted, or frustrated when your old coping mechanisms just aren’t working.

Many of us were taught to improve ourselves by fixing what’s wrong:

• You need to be less emotional

• Don’t be so sensitive

• Work harder and you’ll finally feel good enough

• And so on …

This mentality feeds self-criticism, people-pleasing, and endless striving for worthiness. It’s time to flip the script on personal growth.

A new approach: reclaiming Your True Self

At Bluebird Transformations we believe you’re not broken at all and you definitely don’t need fixing.

There’s a kinder alternative emerging, backed up by science. The belief that you are whole already, not broken, and you always were. You just hid “You” from the world.

And as a child (ages 0 to 7) that served you, allowed you to survive in a world not always safe, not always of your choosing. As an adult that no longer serves you. Instead, it holds you back, it limits your choices and it brings pain, resentment and disappointment into your life.

Rather than fixing “You”, healing is about remembering and reclaiming who you really are, the person you were before you learned to hide your sparkle, doubt your voice, try hard to please, shrink to fit in.

This is the heart of Bluebird Transformations’ philosophy. Real transformation is: returning to the person you always were, underneath the layers of expectation, hurt, and conditioning. Rediscovering “authentic you” underneath life’s experiences.

When you re-find you, you allow yourself to live the life you want to live, true to yourself, being seen, standing in your power, confidence and joy.

This isn't just optimism. It’s what we have witnessed in our clients over and over again.

Transformation comes from:

1. Releasing what was never yours to carry (inherited emotional triggers, limiting behaviours and beliefs)

2. Re-discover your authentic self (Find ing out who you are and what you want in life)

3. Create new, empowered choices going forward start living the life you want to live

It isn’t about erasing hard experiences or pretending they never happened. It’s about seeing

The Science of Coming Home to You

Let’s explore the science behind losing you, because what keeps you stuck may not have started with you:

• Epigenetics shows some stress responses and behavioural tendencies echo across generations, [1, 2] impacting how our behaviours are expressed

• Early experiences shape brain development and patterns that influence how safe, seen, and worthy we feel [3]

• Protective behaviours that once kept you safe (ages 0 to 7), helped you survive, no longer serve you. In fact, they now hold you back, limits your choices, and keep old behavioural patterns re-occurring.

Biology is amazing in itself, even more so because our biology is adaptable and can be re-shaped.

• Epigenetic markers can shift with new experiences and environments [1,2]

• Brains stay plastic across the lifespan, so new patterns are possible when practiced consistently [3] and

• New neurological pathways can be created faster, using NLP and Mind Shifting processes.

What can you try today?

Activity: Here’s something you can do to start your journey of "Finding Me Again”.

• Take a quiet moment, away from your daily distractions

• Write down the first thing that comes to mind when answering these questions - no self-judgement, no pressure:

• What did I love doing before this or my last relationship?

• What made me happy, gave me joy, before I did everything for everyone else?

• What did I used to do, when I had no one else in my life? When all I had to think about was myself?

• Note how each memory makes you feels

That gentle awareness is the start of your journey – home to You!

Tip for doing the activity: When journalling or being coached – your answer will come to mind instantly. It’s your very first answer that comes from your unconscious self. Your unconscious self runs your behaviours 95% of the day. It holds all your inner wisdom, why you do what you do and is the key to your transformation.

The longer your answer takes, the more your conscious self is engaging in a conversation with your unconscious self. Trying to change an answer it’s yet to comprehend. However your conscious self will only gain awareness of why you do what you do, if you let your unconscious thoughts surface and be the answer, no matter how surprised you are with that answer.

We suggest a digital journal. You will then be able to copy/paste parts of your journal relating to any upcoming session.

How Will You Know You’re “Home?”

It’s not about having a perfect Instagram-worthy life, or never having a bad day. It’s about stripping away expectations, self-doubt, and fear so you can live from your true self.

• Re-installing who you are (not who you “should” be)

• Moving outside your comfort zone

• Reconnecting with your inner wisdom

• Reclaiming your natural confidence, joy

• Daring to dream, because action follows and makes it reality

Here are some things you’re likely to notice:

• Feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin

• Making choices from your true self, not old fears, calmly and neutrally

• Enjoying relationships built on clarity and mutual respect

• Remembering that happiness and fulfillment are generated from you and not others or how you are with others

• Speaking up more easily for what matters to you

• Feeling more intimate and vulnerable in your relationships (in a good way)

• Bouncing back from mistakes, not spiral

• Trusting yourself, even when the path looks uncertain

This is the work we do every day.

Ready to Let Come Home to You?

If you’ve noticed a longing for something more – for more authenticity, more joy, more YOU – that’s your sign.

And, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Bluebird Transformations offers several ways to help you reconnect with our community and/or your true self, all at your own pace.

1. If you want support from like-minded, supportive women, join our community for ongoing inspiration and connection: Women Finding Me Again

2. Book a virtual coffee chat - no obligations, just a real conversation with a coach who sees you as whole, not broken

3. Complete our Quiz, and get a complimentary Mind Shifting Session.

4. Explore our tailored coaching programs

5. You can check out real client stories on our Testimonials page.

Let’s start this new chapter together.

References

[1] Johns Hopkins Medicine - Center for Epigenetics: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/institute-basic-biomedical-sciences/research-centers/epigenetics

[2] Meaney MJ, Szyf M et al. Epigenetic programming by maternal behavior. Nature Neuroscience, 2004: https://www.nature.com/articles/nn1276

[3] Harvard Center on the Developing Child - Brain Architecture: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/key-concept/brain-architecture/