How I Found My Intuition (and Named Her Jessie): Building Self-Trust After Losing Myself

Sometimes the most profound journeys begin with the simplest realisation.

Picture this: You're sitting in a car, the radio turns to static and you turn to the empty passenger seat to ask, "Which CD would you like to put on?" (No Spotify back then)

That's exactly what happened to me in 1998, driving solo around Australia. In that moment, staring at an empty seat, I realised something that would change everything.

I had spent so much of my life asking others what they wanted, that I didn't even know what I liked. Going to dinner, a movie - you choose. What music do you want to listen to - I'm good with whatever you want to listen to. 

The Wake-Up Call I Didn't See Coming

After the worst year of my life (1997, a story for another day), I knew something had to change. At 35, I made what felt like the bravest decision possible - a solo road trip around Australia with nothing but a one-woman tent and a need to find myself.

But it was that moment with the empty passenger seat that really got me. I'd been so conditioned by a strict father and partners who made decisions for me, that asking "What do you want?" had become automatic. I was like a passenger in my own life, constantly looking to others for direction and how to live it.

That day, I decided things were going to be different. I was going to give my intuition - that quiet inner voice I'd been ignoring - a name. I called her Jessie.

Meet Jessie: Your Inner Wisdom Has a Voice

Jessie represented the part of me that knew things before my logical mind caught up. She was the little girl who climbed trees, explored caves, and danced in the rain without caring who was watching. She was also very wise, she felt things deeply and sensed truth before it became obvious.

That day I decided Jessie's job was to keep me safe, and to find out through exploration, fun and experiences who Sue was ... what I liked, what I loved and hopefully not too much of "OMG I hate that!"

Almost like a ritual I gave her a name and told her to ride shotgun. My inner guide was going to be my actual guide on this trip to nowhere, anywhere. If she said "Do it!" I was going to do it. If she said "This will be fun" I was going to try it. If she said "yeah, nope" - I was going to listen. And from Sydney to the Nullarbor Plain, I put my fears aside and I let her guide me - and we were spontaneous and we had fun!

Insights from leading performance coach Tony Robbins suggest that our intuition can be our unconscious mind processing vast amounts of information and delivering insights faster than our conscious mind can analyse¹.

Dr. Joe Dispenza's work on the subconscious mind highlights that we're constantly receiving information through subtle energetic and emotional cues that our rational mind hasn't fully processed yet².

According to somatic coaching expert Alyssa Nobriga, our bodies are constantly communicating with us through sensations, tensions, and feelings - what she calls our "inner GPS system"³. The problem isn't that we don't receive these signals; it's that we've learned to ignore them.

What Blocks Our Inner Knowing?

For many women, especially those who've lost themselves in relationships or motherhood, several factors can disconnect us from our intuition:

1. Conditioning to Please Others
From childhood, many of us learn that keeping others happy is more important than our happiness, or honouring our own inner knowing. We're taught to be "good girls" who don't cause trouble or make waves.

2. Overthinking Everything
Brendon Burchard's research on high performance shows that excessive mental chatter can drown out intuitive signals⁴. When we're constantly analysing, comparing, and second-guessing, we can't hear that quieter inner voice.

3. Fear of Making the "Wrong" Choice
Past experiences where we trusted our gut and things didn't work out can make us doubt our inner wisdom. But as NLP pioneer Richard Bandler teaches, there are no failures, only feedback⁵.

4. Disconnection from Our Bodies
Marie Forleo emphasises that intuition often shows up as physical sensations first - that gut feeling, tension in your shoulders, or sudden energy⁶. When we're disconnected from our bodies, we miss these crucial cues.

The Day Jessie Kept Me Safe

About halfway through my journey, I learned just how important it was to trust Jessie's wisdom. I'd wandered off the main road to follow a track to a lookout when suddenly a Volkswagen Kombi appeared right behind me. I heard Jessie say "That's odd. If he (the driver) was on holidays and going to the lookout too, why the rush, why the tailgating? There was only one way in and out - and he doesn't need to be that close."

I had wanted to see that view. I could have rationalised Jessie's warning away. Maybe he was just excited to see the view too. Maybe I was being paranoid.

I looked back at the Kombi. Then loud and very clear Jessie said "Don't keep going to the lookout, something bad will happen."

Remember the agreement I had made with Jessie? Well part of it was if she said "run", I was going to run. I was going to stay safe.

I sped up, darted around a few corners, and slid under some trees. When the Kombi went by, I backed out, turned around, and hightailed it back to the main road.

I'll never know if that man meant me harm or not. But I certainly didn't want to find out by later saying those familiar words: "I knew it."

The Science Behind Your Sixth Sense

What I experienced isn't uncommon. Research shows that women often have heightened intuitive abilities, particularly when it comes to reading social and emotional cues⁷. This isn't mystical - it's actually neurological.

Mind Shifting founder Stevie Kent explains that our intuition is like a muscle - the more we use it, the stronger it becomes⁸. But it requires practice and, most importantly, the courage to act on what we sense.

Rebuilding Trust with Your Inner Wisdom

Here's what I learned during that year of travelling with Jessie:

Start Small and Build Consistency
I began honouring Jessie's voice in little ways. Which CD to buy. Where to set up camp, and where not to. Whether to take a particular hiking trail. Who to talk to. By following through on small intuitive hits, I strengthened the connection and rebuilt self-trust.

Pay Attention to Your Body's Signals
As somatic coaching teaches us, your body is constantly communicating. Notice:

• Tension or relaxation in your stomach

• Changes in your breathing

• Sudden energy shifts

• Feelings of expansion or contraction

Practice the Pause
Before making decisions, especially important ones, take a moment to get quiet and listen. Are alarm bells sounding within your body - a feeling, emotion or a thought? Don't analyse it - just notice what comes up immediately. Then choose to act on it or not. Notice later if you say "I knew it" - did you act on it or not?

Your Turn: Meet Your Inner Guide

Here's a simple exercise to reconnect with your intuition:

1. Find a Quiet Space
Sit comfortably and take five deep breaths.

2. Ask Your Inner Wisdom to Introduce Herself
(Optional) Give your inner guide a name. Don't overthink it - the first name that comes up is it! Imagine what she looks like. This just makes it easier to hear her. She isn't your inner critic. She's your wise guide who only wants the best for you.

3. Have a Conversation
Ask her: "What do you most want me to know right now?" Listen without judging or analysing. Hear her. She's been chatting to you for years, offering you wise advice and has largely been ignored. Imagine how she feels about that.

4. Make a Small Agreement
Commit to honouring one small piece of guidance from your inner wisdom today. It might be as simple as taking a different route home or calling someone you've been thinking about.

The Transformation Continues

That year-long journey taught me something profound - how to trust myself. In 2025, 27 years later, I can't remember the last time I said "I knew it" with regret.

When you're connected to your inner wisdom and brave enough to follow her guidance, you stop abandoning yourself in crucial moments. You stop letting yourself down. And her strength and guidance grows.

Jessie has all my life experience and more - she has access to patterns, energy, and information my conscious mind might miss. She's the part of me that knows what music makes my soul dance, what places feel like home, and yes, when situations feel unsafe.

Your Inner Wisdom Is Waiting

Your intuition hasn't disappeared - she's just been waiting patiently for you to remember how to listen. She's been there through childhood, every relationship, every challenge, every moment you've felt lost or confused, and all your successes. She knows things at her core, that your conscious mind has forgotten - we don't like to remember the negative experiences. But both positive and negative experiences are behind your unconscious all knowing.

The question isn't whether you have inner wisdom. The question is: Are you ready to trust her again?

Like any relationship that's been neglected, rebuilding trust with your intuition takes time, patience, and small consistent actions. But once you reconnect with that inner knowing - everything changes.

You stop living as a passenger in your own life, letting others drive your car. You start making decisions that feel aligned and authentic. And you discover that the woman you've been looking for was there all along, just waiting for you to come home to yourself.

Ready to reconnect with your inner wisdom and rebuild self-trust? If this story resonates and you'd like to explore what it means to come home to yourself, I'd love to chat. Book a free 15-min call with a coach and let's talk about your journey back to you.

Sources & References:
¹ Tony Robbins. How to tell the difference between fear and intuition.
² Dr Joe Dispenza. Working With Doubt, Part I: Understanding Levels of Mind.
³ Alyssa Nobriga. About Alyssa Nobriga - Clinical Somatic Psychotherapist and Coach.
⁴ High Performance Institute. High Performance Habits - overview.
⁵ British Psychological Society. The theoretical roots of NLP-based coaching.

⁶ Marie Forleo. About Marie Forleo.
⁷ Thompson AE, Voyer D. Sex differences in the ability to recognise non-verbal displays of emotion: a meta-analysis. PubMed.
⁸ Mind Shifting. Official site of Stevie Kent.